Well that seems to be the best way to describe me, On, or Off. It goes beyond mood swings or attitude, I imagine somebody with letters behind their name might try to class this as some form of bipolar or manic depressiveness - But I just call it ON/OFF.
I was ON a couple weeks ago, and man was I a sight to behold, I was simply amazing, manifesting shit all over the place, making friends wherever I went. I was tripping around the city (Vancouver) meeting all kinds of people, from all walks of life. Creating money, community, literally making friends and influencing people. In one memorable day, I had lunch with one of Canada's top chemists, hung out with some wickedly creative freeqs in the park, did some dancing, made some music, and ended the night doing an informal interview and sharing a bottle with some homeless dudes. When I'm ON the whole world is my playground, and everyone is my friend.
But when I'm OFF, goddamn, just leave me the Fuck alone, I don't want to talk to anybody, do anything, I just want' to curl up and sleep, or get drunk and miserable, or violently angry. This is beyond introspection, beyond personal space, this is downright Anti Social. With Capital letters!!
Luckly these OFF sessions dont' last very long anymore, I have experiance with depression, and have the ablility to end it - when I feel like it, I know it's dangerous to let myself get wrapped up in my bad moods, 'cause they CAN take over my life.
Yesterday was an OFF day, couldn't get anything done for the life of me (though I actually did get some shit done) and was tired and miserable all day.
I don't know if i can make today an ON day, but I'm on my way back up.
cheers
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